You could probably add his PS4 to this list, too.
Making contact with each other’s genitals is so passé. Everybody knows the slightest zephyr of a woman’s touch can get a dick hard. And a true maestro can craft an erection out of sheer willpower alone.
The quickest route to arousal is through the penis, sure, but sometimes it’s more fun to take the scenic route to a boner through foreplay.
Here are 6 things to play with that will make him wonder why he neglected the rest of his body for so long:
DJing your own party (I also would have accepted “Jilling off”) is a win-win. Everybody gets turned on.
Watching a woman go to town on herself is like getting to watch porn, without having to clear your browser history afterward.
2. His emotions
The brain is the largest erogenous zone. And if that isn’t the case with your man, contact the Guinness people immediately, because you have a world record on your hands (or wherever you like to put it).
Dirty talk, sexting … these are all perfect ways to become the ultimate brain teaser.
3. His nipples
What a man’s nipples lack in lactating, they more than make up for in sensitivity. No matter how many nipples he may have, they’re just as titillating as yours.
So, go crazy on those areolas. He may be just as surprised as you are that it works.
4. His prostate
Don your miner’s cap and get ready to go spelunking — the majestic butthole is the doorway to a realm of G-spot (or in his case, P-Spot) pleasure that neither of you is probably ready to experience without some research.
Your best bet is to look up a WikiHow, or ask politely on Yahoo Answers and then just go for it without telling him.
5. His fingers
Let’s be honest, a finger is essentially just a penis effigy. Anything you do with one finger will be mentally translated as you doing something to his favorite extremity.
Basically, anything you’d do to a penis, you could do to a finger. Except for a handjob.
Don’t let every rap song ever written fool you. Dudes are just as receptive to being on the receiving end of a thunderous booty clap.
If your baby got back, keep your pimp hand strong and let him know it with a good spanking.