Your happiness matters too.
To love someone is a big responsibility. At first, it can feel like one big honeymoon, where all you want to do is spend time with your significant other and enjoy being in love.
But then you remember that you need to have a life outside of your relationship, which includes everything from friends and work to just spending time alone, getting to know yourself.
But if you could answer honestly, how often do you really spend time by yourself? And when you are alone, are you really alone or are you on Twitter and Facebook, staying connected to your friends?
For a lot of us, being totally and completely alone can be difficult. We’re so used to jumping back and forth from friends to our significant other to family that being alone just seems impossible to do. And more than that, constantly being around people can put a strain on our relationships, making it impossible to love our significant other without fault.
If you’re anything like me (and pretty much everyone else in the world), you’ve probably told your S.O. that you need to be left alone for a while to do your own thing because you’ve been catering to everyone else’s needs all day.
If you don’t already know this, I’m going to share something important with you: Being alone means learning to love yourself.
Once you’re able to love yourself with unconditional love, you can love someone else completely. But if we constantly refuse to love ourselves, we’re only setting our relationships up to fail.
In Radical Acceptance: The Secret To Happy, Lasting Love by YourTango’s own founder and CEO Andrea Miller, this is the center of much discussion. She talks about how important it is to not just love your significant other for everything he is and everything you have, but that love really does start with YOU.
How can you give someone else a big part of yourself if you’re not even sure what part you want to share?
Not only is Andrea’s book a beautifully written guide for those who want to strengthen their relationship and learn how to love without reservations, but it’s also an incredibly deep guide on giving yourself the tools you need to keep some of that love for yourself.
She reminds the reader that you don’t have to give away everything just to make the other person happy because, in reality, all you’re doing is losing an important part of yourself.
Radical Acceptance is in stores on May 2nd, so until then, here are only some of the best quotes from her book to remind you that love is much more than sharing your life with someone; it’s about learning to love yourself and them, no matter what happens in life.
Love is life’s greatest gift, which is why people have a passion for love quotes – and we’ve got you covered. When it comes to saying “I love you”, the truth about marriage, or even finding the perfect love quote for your guy, we have all the cute (or sexy!) quotes you need.
“I love you right here, right now. I have your back, no matter what. I know your flaws, failures, and shortcomings—and I still love you.” — Andrea Miller
“The opponent is not the person with whom you are in a relationship. The opponent is your reaction to this person and what arises in the relationship.” — David Bell
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” — Lao Tzu
“Trying to change someone else is an act of aggression. Trying to change yourself is an act of love.” — David Bell
To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken.” — C.S. Lewis
“Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, only with what you are expecting to give, which is everything.” — Katharine Hepburn
“Love starts with YOU.” — Andrea Miller
“Give the love you want to feel in the world.” — Andrea Miller
“Love is exhibiting kindness and generosity. It’s extending yourself in the spirit of love, even when it’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done, even when you have to beat back your ego, your anger, and your fear.” — Andrea Miller
“Radical Acceptance means appreciating all of your partner, not just picking and choosing the parts that are easy to love.” — Andrea Miller
“If you love yourself and you know that other people would love to be with you, you will readily operate from a place of abundance.” — Andrea Miller
“Don’t just accept your vulnerabilities, love them by drawing mental hearts around them.” — Andrea Miller
“Rather than acting from a place of weakness or scarcity, choosing to love all of him is a choice that comes from abundance, from wisdom, from compassion.” — Andrea Miller
“The more you can love yourself, the more you’ll have to offer every one else in your life that is important to you.” — Andrea Miller